From the Rabbi

We are still basking in the glow of the Paris Olympics. Our American teams won more medals than any other country and tied for the number of gold medals won. We came to know and love Simone Biles, the GOAT of gymnastics, Noah Lyles in track and field, and many other athletes, American and otherwise, who achieved greatness through what was clearly superhuman effort.

Interviews with elite athletes reveal that a tension between gritty perseverance and just giving up and quitting is ever present. Their long hours of training over many years were often uphill battles to achieve their success. It was never smooth sailing. Stumbling, injuries, physical and mental fatigue, personal doubts and more, were the norm for almost every elite athlete.

Dr. Angela Duckworth, a psychologist from the University of Pennsylvania, studies the construct of grit, which is the ability to persevere and persist towards long-term goals despite challenges and setbacks. Those who demonstrate grit tend to be more successful in academic and professional settings. Yet, is grit always the proper response? Can’t grit also double as an unhealthy stubbornness?

Dr. Carsten Wrosch, a psychologist from Concordia University in Montreal, studies the benefits of quitting. He argues, that there are certain times where giving up is a better response than persisting. People who let go of unattainable goals tend to have fewer depressive symptoms, less negative affect, lower cortisol level, less systemic inflammation, and fewer physical health problems. No longer investing time and energy into just one goal allows them to attempt different, perhaps more attainable or more beneficial, goals.

The line between a healthy perseverance and an unhealthy stubbornness is not always easy to discern. Perhaps a look at Moses in this week’s Torah portion might help us formulate some guidelines. Moshe longed to enter the land of Israel. He desired to finish his original mission of bringing the Children of Israel into the land. He yearned to fulfill the various mitzvot that are only pertinent within the physical boundaries of Israel. Minimally, he just wished to experience the feeling of basking in the space of such a holy place. But he stumbled at the finish line. Because of what happened at Mei Merivah, God told him he could not enter.

His ultimate goal was blocked, but Moses did not go down without a fight. He begged and pleaded to G-d to let him enter the land. The midrash informs us that Moses made 515 separate supplications to God, based on the numerical value of the Vaetchanan. Moshe serves as a paradigm for grit in the face of challenges. When faced with an obstacle, be determined, be tenacious, and persevere.

Yet, taken from a different perspective, Moses also serves as a paradigm for quitting. As soon as God told him to stop pleading, he stopped. He put in the effort, but once he realized that the goal was unattainable, he quit. Once he does, he is freed to focus on a new task. He puts his effort in to crafting a farewell message that will influence generations to come in the land if Israel, even though he would not physically be present there.

Within the same narrative, Moses provides for us a role-model for extreme persistence in goal attainment, as well as an example for quitting when the goal is clearly no longer attainable. When confronted with challenges to our own goals, may God grant us the wisdom to discern whether to respond with grit or to quit, the strength to persevere if necessary, and the courage to give up when appropriate.